Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Men Tell No Tales

Rated PG-13
3 hours
Starring: Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, and Javier Bardem

I did not intend to watch this movie, but I’ve seen all the others so I might as well.  We all know that the first Pirates was amazing! We loved the swashbuckling Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) Elizabeth Swan (Keira Knightley) and Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush)!  They were all wonderful characters who made us cheer for the pirates and “oohh and awe” as the skeletons walked under water.  From there though, the following movies went downhill.  They got all squishy with water and drenched.  Will and Elizabeth didn’t always come back and eventually, it seemed it was all about the money of the franchise and not the story.  Then along comes, Dead Men Tell No Tales!  It doesn’t rate as good as the first one but it does rank higher than some. 
What I really liked about it is I did become engaged in the new characters.  It centers around Will’s and Elizabeth’s son, Henry, who's on a mission to rescue his dad, Will, from The Flying Dutchman.  Along the way he teams up with a spunky woman, Carina, who is looking for her dad.  The two share the same  goal and they must also trust Jack to help them.  It wouldn’t be a Pirates movie without the plundering, the explosions, the funny off-beat jokes and a true hearted pirate that sacrifices all so that another could live.
There were a few twists and turns that kept me engaged and even though I thought the movie was too long  – the ending still held up to a Pirates standard.  If this is the final one of the series - then I’m glad I went along for the ride.  It’s always nice to be with friends one last time, before they eventually head out to sea for their final voyage.





Friday, October 27, 2017

47 Meters Down

Rated PG-13
89 minutes
Starring: Mandy Moore and Claire Holt

The next Jaws?  Ummm…NO!  I wouldn’t say this movie was completely horrible – I’ve definitely seen worse shark movies.  But, it wasn’t “great” either.  Lisa and Kate are sisters that are vacationing in Mexico and decide to get a thrill by going down in a shark cage to get close to swimming sharks.  It’s all good until – SURPRISE - something breaks, dropping their cage to the bottom of the water and no way to safely get back to the surface.  The added element to all of this is their air supply is almost gone, too.  Of course, there are mean sharks that always seem to be one step ahead and almost able to read people’s minds.  It all just seemed so basic.  Just when I thought there was something new, it tried to get more “dramatic” – now her leg is stuck under the cage and she can’t move!  Oh, no!  Then a leg is cut and there’s blood in the water!!!  What else could go wrong???!!!!  Just about everything, seemed like…  Overall, it had it’s moments, but they were few and far between.  I think it was better than it seemed, but wouldn’t expect very much from this one.

Thursday, October 26, 2017

Wonder Woman

Rated PG-13
141 minutes
Starring: Gal Gadot and Chris Pine

I loved this movie! I was getting tired of all the superhero movies that keep being released, but decided to give this one a chance. Gal Gadot plays Diana, princess of the Amazons, who has been trained as a warrior. When a World War I pilot crashes his plane into her world and tells her about the wars going on where he was from, she decides to leave her home for the first time and use her training to help stop the threats. The more she fights, the more she is able to realize her true powers and find her destiny. Galdot’s character was the perfect mix of being hopeful, optimistic, beautiful, and strong, yet still innocent and likable. I liked the story, the pacing, and the characters. It all just built more and more as the film went on and made for a great movie!

Monday, September 18, 2017

The Mummy

Rated PG-13
110 minutes
Starring: Tom Cruise

I’d say this one was just “alright.”  I like Tom Cruise, but anyone could have played the character he did and there wasn’t really anything special about him in this one.  He’s in the Egyptian desert looking for treasures when an ancient princess named Ahmanet is awakened from her crypt that she’d been trapped in for 5,000 years.  His character, Nick, spends the rest of the movie “channeling” her as she sucks the life out of others to gain strength and try to avenge losing her rightful place as heir to her father’s throne.  She lost that place when the king fathered a son and she felt completely betrayed.  I guess it’s all meant to be a battle of good vs. evil and the power that each can have over our lives.  I just didn’t buy it.  The characters could have had more depth, more actual story to them, better acting, and better writing.  This movie had it’s moments, but they were definitely few and far between!

The Mummy


I was really hoping for an action packed mummy film and it turned out to be a jumbled mess of “blech.”  The movie starts out very similar to the other mummy movies, which starred Brendan Fraser.  Tom Cruise plays Nick Morton who is a soldier of fortune who looks for rare artifacts to sell to the highest bidder.  They unearth “the undead mummy,” a creepy crawly corpse who needs to suck the life out of humans so she can regain her human form.  And what does she want? Power of course!!  It follows pretty much the same story line as the other ones except the ones with Brandon Fraiser had a storyline and better acting.  This one went way to the left and the storyline just fell flat and to pieces.  The more I type about how much I disliked this movie – the more I have problems trying to find the right words for it.  So I’ll just stop here and say it wasn’t a very good movie even with a star at the helm of it. 

Thursday, September 7, 2017

Baywatch

Rated R
121 minutes
Starring: Zac Efron and Dwayne Johnson


I was all ready to hack this movie apart saying it was the worst movie ever BUT I watched “Snatched” and it took top honors for that!  So with that being said – this movie was maybe just a grade above.  It started out with so much language and perverted gags I was ready to turn it off, but I was curious how it was going to compare to the original Baywatch.  The one thing I did like though, was the banter between Dwayne and Zac.  Those parts made me laugh a little, but aside from that, it was kind of lame.  Zac is the new guy that needs a spot on the lifeguard team. Dwayne is the “lieutenant” of the lifeguards and they’re having tryouts.  As they go through their training – Zac’s character thinks he’s all that because he was an Olympic swimmer, but with a past of being called, the “Vomit Comet” (yep, those type of jokes). He’s trying to overcome his sordid history and Dwayne’s character wants nothing to do with him.  Being a lifeguard is a serious job and he doesn’t have time for a “high school musical” dropout!  But then the story turns into an action film with Dwayne doing what he always does – kick butt.  Drugs are found on the beach and they find out who’s dealing them and then it’s a freefall of action, explosions, and a morgue scene that shows more than you wanted to see (gratuitous male anatomy full on display – you’ve been warned!)  The movie could have been better but give it a D.  That’s still a step up from “Snatched.

Baywatch

I wasn’t expecting to like this one very much.  It definitely wasn’t a “classic” by any means, but I found myself enjoying it more than I thought I would.  I never watched the original TV series, so I have nothing to base this one on.  The lifeguards being “more than lifeguards” is pretty far-fetched, but I thought Dwayne Johnson and Zac Efron played well off each other and some of their one-liners were actually pretty funny.  It was silly, but in a good, “making fun of itself” kind of way.  I could have definitely done without the multiple “anatomy” jokes and the things they thought they needed to show – over and over – for no reason at all.  Otherwise, it’s Baywatch – super hot lifeguards training new people, saving lives, and fighting crime all at the same time!  It’s like being a lifeguard is just a cover for keeping watch over everything happening on the beach that includes way more than just rescuing people from drowning.  Yes, it’s cheesy and campy, but if that’s all you’re looking for, I didn’t think it was “that” bad.  I’m more in the D+/C- range, I would say.

Snatched

Rated R
91 minutes 
Starring: Amy Schumer and Goldie Hawn

Worst. Movie. Ever. Seriously.  I expected a lot from this movie with the great Goldie Hawn but . . . this was not a movie for a comeback!  Granted – I don’t like Amy Schumer.  I don’t think she’s funny or can act but I put a lot of hope in Goldie.  There was no chemistry between the leading ladies.  The storyline fell flat and I didn’t laugh out loud once!  I couldn’t stand the brother, he was just plain creepy, (like “I need to take a shower” creepy) and a lot of language! The jokes fell as flat as Goldie’s face lift (did I just say that?) and I wanted a better movie!!  I wanted to laugh but all I did was cringe at the acting and the jokes.  I feel like Joan Rivers when I say, “can we talk” about the tapeworm scene??  BLECH!  Premise of the movie is - daughter is a loser.  Mom stays at home and is afraid to do anything.  Daughter talks mom into going to Ecuador with her because her boyfriend dumped her and no one else wants to go with her.   The daughter hooks up with a hot guy – gets the mom to come along and BOOM – they get kidnapped.  The rest of the movie is about them trying to escape the “clutches” of the kidnappers.  Ho-hum.  Don’t believe the hype about this movie, “The Funniest Movie of the Year”. It’s fake news!!




Snatched

I had high hopes for this one – I shouldn’t have!  Everything said how funny it was – it wasn’t!  Maybe I was hoping Goldie Hawn was back and would make it a great movie – she didn’t!  Also, I have never really cared for Amy Schumer – and still don’t!  I’m starting to feel like movie writers don’t even know what “funny” really is anymore!!!  Or how to write comedy that is actually smart and entertaining without it being just a bunch of language and dirty references that get very old, very quick!  There wasn’t even much of a story – Schumer’s character gets fired and then dumped by her boyfriend before a vacation she had planned and talks her careful mother into letting loose and going on the vacation with her.  The vacation turns into a RIDICULOUS “adventure” that involves being captured, escapes, a bunch of killing, a tapeworm, and just a lot of stupid stunts that made me feel like watching this piece of garbage was a complete waste of time!!!  It wasn’t funny.  It was just sad…

Monday, June 19, 2017

Sully

I think almost everyone knows who you’re talking about when you say “Sully” these days – pilot Chesley 'Sully' Sullenberger.  He was the one who landed his plane on the Hudson River after a bird strike took out both of his engines.  Sully became a hero for saving everyone on the plane.  This movie follows the extreme scrutiny he faced from the Federal Aviation Administration trying to decide if he “had” to land on the Hudson or if he would have been able to make it back to LaGuardia Airport?  Tom Hanks, of course, does a great job as Sully.  I’ve seen some people from the FAA saying the movie got it wrong and that they were not as “mean” as they seemed nor did they grill Sullenberger like a criminal.  He was a hero to the people, but here, he was having to fight for his “innocence” in hearings that followed the landing.  I enjoyed this, even if it was made a little more dramatic than it might have been in real life.

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Collateral Beauty

I don’t really know what to think about this movie.  Will Smith plays a father who is having a hard time dealing with the death of his child.  A VERY hard time!  He has shut down and pretty much stopped living his life.  His company is about to go under and he seems almost unaware.  After going through questioning everything about life, he decides to write letters to Love, Time and Death.  I don’t think he was expecting any answers, but he actually does receive responses and is forced to deal with everything he has been avoiding all along!  I was looking forward to this movie, but it just didn’t “click” for me.  It wasn’t really what I was expecting and felt like it was maybe trying too hard to be artistic or creative in how it handled the issues, but wound up feeling awkward in most scenes.  It definitely was creative and maybe someone who has lost a child would relate more to what he was going through, but I just didn’t feel it with this one.

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Passengers

I wanted to see this movie when it was at the theater, but missed it, so I’ve been waiting for the DVD ever since.  I had very high hopes – and was not disappointed!  It has two of my favorite actors – Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Pratt.  The story is about a group of over 5,000 people from Earth that are traveling to a distant planet colony.  Their trip will take 120 years, so they are all in a state of hibernation until the ship reaches the planet.  Well, that sounds all good, until one of the hibernation pods malfunctions and Jim (Chris Pratt) wakes up almost 90 years before he is supposed to!  He finds himself the only one awake on the entire ship and needs to figure out what to do and if he should try to wake anyone else.  By doing that, their lives would be forever changed, as his was now.  His decision to wake up Jennifer’s character, Aurora, sets off a chain reaction of learning how to live knowing you will never see land again.  There were quite a few moments that reminded me of movies like Cast Away and The Martian as far as being alone and needing to find a way to survive.  I just really enjoyed the story and the acting with this one – I’m sure I’ll be watching it again!